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2011 Limerick War

Last year this was extremely successful, so I have decided to run this for a full month! I have made the attack post into a page so you can quickly select it from the navigational bar at the top of the website.

When March comes to a crashing halt, a winner will be determined and there MIGHT be a prize. MIGHT! All in all, this is meant to be fun! Also, this year is not just reserved for the Betties! I want EVERYONE’s gloves off!

You may have done this before
it runs rampant on forums galore
As Saint Paddy’s comes near
It is perfectly clear
That I kickstart a LIMERICK WAR!

The purpose of this lovely thread
is not meant to emotionally shred
Though it does sound outrageous
This can be contagious!
So make sure you know what’s ahead

You might say “Ali, What have you done?
I don’t want to feel like I’m shunned!”
With each post you endeavor
to not be mean but clever!
This should all be taken in fun!

You may feel you’ve been given the crown
the post below will then take you to town.
I say take that licking
and just keep on kicking
Because you aren’t out, just down!

With each post you can always fight back
but keep track of your form of attack
Using actors as your defense
only makes a false pretense
Any frankly, makes me want to yak.

This contest is not about Saints
so I suggest you act with restraint.
please take that to heart
before you even start
because you will get a lot of complaints.

This isn’t meant to cause a schism
or an all out cataclysm
We are all in this boat
so let’s keep it afloat
I can’t believe I used THAT aphorism.

The troops have been called to attention
and though I shouldn’t have to mention
it gives me great glee
that the war starts with me
So begin with the mock condescension!

**UPDATE**
If you don’t want to be attacked but want to contribute, you can add “Attack Ali or Feanix”. We don’t mind.

52 comments

  • […] 2011 Limerick War « Identity Theft […]

  • Kim S. (7 years)

    I just did one just for you guys:

    There once were 2 dudes from Ireland
    Who set all Betties’ undies on fire and
    While fanning their pants
    Said “Hey fancy that?
    Let’s see if we can do that with all our fans!”

  • Kim S. (7 years)

    Haha. I changed the first line:

    There once were 2 hot lads from Ireland
    Who set all Betties’ undies on fire and
    While fanning their pants
    Said “Hey fancy that?
    Let’s see if we can do that with all our fans!”

  • Crash (7 years)

    Well I’m gonna start by ‘attacking’ Ali..same rules as before right? ‘Attack’ the person who posts before you?

    To our fearless leader
    Ain’t no one to beat her
    She’s funny as hell;
    Only occasionally smells
    Her kryptonite is pants and a heater

  • Feanix (7 years)

    So it seems the first to bash
    is a silly little chick named Crash
    Not much is needed to say
    her luck is going the wrong way
    now go take care of that rash

    :-p LOVE YA LADIES!!

  • Roo (7 years)

    Feanix isn’t shit
    I think you better quit.
    Cuz you rhyme like a gay’
    And I’m here to say:
    Give up loser, it’s time to quit!!

  • Roo (7 years)

    Hmm.. rhyming quit with quit. Genius.

  • Crash (7 years)

    yes..you’re a friggen mastermind there Roo..haha

    Oh our dear Roo
    your limerick was poo
    Feanix is witty
    she is not shitty
    And she will turn you to stew.

  • Feanix (7 years)

    oh look a new warrior named Roo
    your skills are like runny doo doo
    go ahead and bow out
    my skills will make you pout
    I’ll toss your rhymes in the Loo

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    Roo a warrior please
    And well Feanix, she’s just a tease
    All your rhymes are lame
    you need to bow out this game
    and go back to learning your A-B-C’s

  • CaitlinTake2 (7 years)

    I’m gonna throw this one here cause it came to me while I was in the shower. (Inspiration comes at the oddest times.)

    Take note of this, all of you Haters
    And bottom feeding, lame brained, imitators
    Trying to pass as us? Please!
    “There’s no Splenda Betties!”
    Best to recognize that fact sooner than later.

    Word to your Mother.

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    Okay not a limerick reply but Caitlin I LOVE YOU!!

  • theboondockbetties (7 years)

    Some may say that’s where it’s at,
    but your limerick theme’s so old hat.
    Let’s not waste more time PLEASE!
    on those Wannabetties
    You are so much better than that!

  • Irish_Angel2 (7 years)

    It’s seems I now must now attack the head Betty
    Whom I could never describe as petty
    So while I try to think
    I’ll have a drink
    Hey fuck ass get me a beer!
    🙂

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    Awww thats sweet you gave a try
    but I think your brain is running on dry
    See lines 1, 2 and 5 don’t rhyme
    So next time think and take your time
    Sit back, watch the big girls and don’t cry

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    Mandy302, I’ll take my time
    and give my 2 cents, hell a dime
    your rhyme is all wrong
    it’s like a bad song
    but for a Barbie, not a bad rhyme.

  • Crash (7 years)

    Dear little Jinxie
    you may think you are minxy
    you used the same word
    which is rather absurd
    you should try again methinksy

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    Crash please don’t think too much
    remember it makes your brain mush
    Jinxi you think my rhymes are weak
    My dog takes more creative leaks
    So both of you be quiet and shush

  • Feanix (7 years)

    Mandy my dear heres a tip
    think of your rhyme then let it rip
    Dont let my face fool ya
    Im going to straight up school ya
    bend over baby and take my whip

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    Feanix put the whip down
    S & M makes the boys frown
    try not to pout
    but school is out
    so we don’t need a class clown.

  • faelyspryte (7 years)

    jinxi3 your limerick is furtive and mean
    You must keep her in close quarantine
    Or she will sneak to the slums
    And promptly becomes
    Disorderly, drunk and obscene.:D

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    mean I did not care to be
    I only call what I see
    so pull up a chair
    a bottle we’ll share
    and I’ll even pick up the fee.

  • faelyspryte (7 years)

    sweet jesus she’s paying for drinks
    i’ll have a jameson methinks
    i’ll sit at your table
    cuz im willing and able
    here’s to the betties..~winks~

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    “I’m a bettie!” I can not yet say
    but drink to them proudly I may
    you’re a fuckawesome fam
    so let’s all yell Hot Damn!
    Everyday’s St Paddy’s Day!!

  • faelyspryte (7 years)

    ok this is a limerick war
    so please dont be sore..
    as i raise my glass again
    im in this to win
    and i’ll be even more fierce than before 😛

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    I think you are out on a limb
    the outlook for you seems quite grim
    unless winning to you
    means being number 2
    cause your chances at one are real slim!

  • faelyspryte (7 years)

    I teach by example and yet…
    Ever worse do your limericks get
    With meter and rhyme
    They can work every time
    Anapestic: it’s easy…. don’t fret!

  • theboondockbetties (7 years)

    My response, Faely, may be belated.
    But I am NOT AT ALL elated
    I truly despise
    Those who plagiarize.
    So quit it, or be eliminated.
    (do NOT steal someone else’s work.)

  • theboondockbetties (7 years)

    Seriously. If I find you didn’t write the limerick not only will you be disqualified, but you may be booted from the Betties. Not only is it cheating on your side, it is extremely offensive to me as a writer.

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    I assure you I write my own stuff
    on this point I will call no bluff
    your point is so true
    I bow down to you
    it’s obvious you take no guff!

  • tiffanyhinds (7 years)

    I ask you to all be nice
    Or I may not do this twice
    Altho not a sin
    I’m a limerick virgin
    Just on here rollin’ the dice

  • Crash (7 years)

    A bit nervous to play?
    This may not go your way.
    We go for the throat
    Don’t let it get your goat
    Just jump right into the fray.

  • Crash (7 years)

    clearly not a limerick..but are we using the same rule as before? where if someone doesn’t want to be attacked..they can direct the attack to someone else? Just for the ones who may not want to take a hit..haha..

    not that I want to opt out of bein attacked..this is far too fun for that. 🙂

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    Crash your escapades abound
    concussions follow you around
    they have found you time after time
    perhaps that’s why you cannot rhyme?
    your words are just a wasted mound.

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    now I have said all I can say
    I bid ado to another day
    for I’m off to work tomorrow you see
    but you don’t have to morn for me
    fear not for I’ll be back to play!

  • CaitlinTake2 (7 years)

    Drop the “i” and you become a Jinx
    Suits you well cause your limerick stinks
    I hope you come back to play
    with something better to say
    I’ll give you sometime to rethink.

  • theboondockbetties (7 years)

    *Quick reply to Crash* Yes, you can post and if you don’t want to be “attacked” you can always add “Attack Ali”. I don’t mind. 😉

  • Feanix (7 years)

    Or Attack Feanix as well 🙂

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    Caitlin I always love all the chocoate you bring
    When i see you, it makes my heart sing
    So to you, I raise my cup
    and give you two thumbs up
    Even if you’re the reason we can’t have nice things

  • Crash (7 years)

    or attack me..i don’t care either haha

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    I’m back for round 2 as you see
    now the minions all bow down to me
    as you drop away fast
    from the first to the last
    til he winner’s declared to be me!

  • Crash (7 years)

    That limerick won’t win
    it should go in the bin
    You’re not Charlie Sheen
    prolly far too clean
    I think you should try again

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    Charlie Sheen has got nothing on me
    my fists move so fast you can’t see
    you better duck
    you’re about out of luck
    like Muhammad I sting like a bee!

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    Wow comparing yourself to Charlie Sheen, that loon
    Way to aim high and reach for the moon
    Ali had moves back in the day
    Now his head just bobs and sways
    So step back cause I think you spoke to soon

  • charchar135 (7 years)

    Oh Mandy, Whatever!
    Your rhymes aren’t that clever.
    Yeah that’s what I said.
    I’ll put you to bed.
    Think you can best me, Never!

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    Oh CharChar that was so boring
    Your rhymes leave me snoring
    See I may be narcoleptic
    But your limericks are septic
    And it’s you, they’ll be ignoring

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    If there is a prize you won’t own it
    you’ll never win writing that sh*t
    so bow out with grace
    before you lose face
    you’re no competition for my wit

  • Mandy302 (7 years)

    You say my rhymes skills need to be honed
    Meanwhile yours have got me hugging a throne
    See these words that I spit
    Really are the shit
    I’m just going easy and throwing you a bone

  • jinxi3 (7 years)

    skill is not the word I would use
    maybe you’ve had too much booze?
    you really are lacking
    not the time to be slacking
    perhaps you have misplaced your muse

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