We Back Up Our Saints
2011 Limerick War
Last year this was extremely successful, so I have decided to run this for a full month! I have made the attack post into a page so you can quickly select it from the navigational bar at the top of the website.
When March comes to a crashing halt, a winner will be determined and there MIGHT be a prize. MIGHT! All in all, this is meant to be fun! Also, this year is not just reserved for the Betties! I want EVERYONE’s gloves off!
You may have done this before
it runs rampant on forums galore
As Saint Paddy’s comes near
It is perfectly clear
That I kickstart a LIMERICK WAR!
The purpose of this lovely thread
is not meant to emotionally shred
Though it does sound outrageous
This can be contagious!
So make sure you know what’s ahead
You might say “Ali, What have you done?
I don’t want to feel like I’m shunned!”
With each post you endeavor
to not be mean but clever!
This should all be taken in fun!
You may feel you’ve been given the crown
the post below will then take you to town.
I say take that licking
and just keep on kicking
Because you aren’t out, just down!
With each post you can always fight back
but keep track of your form of attack
Using actors as your defense
only makes a false pretense
Any frankly, makes me want to yak.
This contest is not about Saints
so I suggest you act with restraint.
please take that to heart
before you even start
because you will get a lot of complaints.
This isn’t meant to cause a schism
or an all out cataclysm
We are all in this boat
so let’s keep it afloat
I can’t believe I used THAT aphorism.
The troops have been called to attention
and though I shouldn’t have to mention
it gives me great glee
that the war starts with me
So begin with the mock condescension!
**UPDATE**
If you don’t want to be attacked but want to contribute, you can add “Attack Ali or Feanix”. We don’t mind.
[...] 2011 Limerick War « Identity Theft [...]
I just did one just for you guys:
There once were 2 dudes from Ireland
Who set all Betties’ undies on fire and
While fanning their pants
Said “Hey fancy that?
Let’s see if we can do that with all our fans!”
Haha. I changed the first line:
There once were 2 hot lads from Ireland
Who set all Betties’ undies on fire and
While fanning their pants
Said “Hey fancy that?
Let’s see if we can do that with all our fans!”
Well I’m gonna start by ‘attacking’ Ali..same rules as before right? ‘Attack’ the person who posts before you?
To our fearless leader
Ain’t no one to beat her
She’s funny as hell;
Only occasionally smells
Her kryptonite is pants and a heater
So it seems the first to bash
is a silly little chick named Crash
Not much is needed to say
her luck is going the wrong way
now go take care of that rash
:-p LOVE YA LADIES!!
Feanix isn’t shit
I think you better quit.
Cuz you rhyme like a gay’
And I’m here to say:
Give up loser, it’s time to quit!!
Hmm.. rhyming quit with quit. Genius.
yes..you’re a friggen mastermind there Roo..haha
Oh our dear Roo
your limerick was poo
Feanix is witty
she is not shitty
And she will turn you to stew.
oh look a new warrior named Roo
your skills are like runny doo doo
go ahead and bow out
my skills will make you pout
I’ll toss your rhymes in the Loo
Roo a warrior please
And well Feanix, she’s just a tease
All your rhymes are lame
you need to bow out this game
and go back to learning your A-B-C’s
I’m gonna throw this one here cause it came to me while I was in the shower. (Inspiration comes at the oddest times.)
Take note of this, all of you Haters
And bottom feeding, lame brained, imitators
Trying to pass as us? Please!
“There’s no Splenda Betties!”
Best to recognize that fact sooner than later.
Word to your Mother.
Okay not a limerick reply but Caitlin I LOVE YOU!!
Some may say that’s where it’s at,
but your limerick theme’s so old hat.
Let’s not waste more time PLEASE!
on those Wannabetties
You are so much better than that!
It’s seems I now must now attack the head Betty
Whom I could never describe as petty
So while I try to think
I’ll have a drink
Hey fuck ass get me a beer!
Awww thats sweet you gave a try
but I think your brain is running on dry
See lines 1, 2 and 5 don’t rhyme
So next time think and take your time
Sit back, watch the big girls and don’t cry
Mandy302, I’ll take my time
and give my 2 cents, hell a dime
your rhyme is all wrong
it’s like a bad song
but for a Barbie, not a bad rhyme.
Dear little Jinxie
you may think you are minxy
you used the same word
which is rather absurd
you should try again methinksy
Crash please don’t think too much
remember it makes your brain mush
Jinxi you think my rhymes are weak
My dog takes more creative leaks
So both of you be quiet and shush
Mandy my dear heres a tip
think of your rhyme then let it rip
Dont let my face fool ya
Im going to straight up school ya
bend over baby and take my whip
Feanix put the whip down
S & M makes the boys frown
try not to pout
but school is out
so we don’t need a class clown.
jinxi3 your limerick is furtive and mean
You must keep her in close quarantine
Or she will sneak to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.:D
mean I did not care to be
I only call what I see
so pull up a chair
a bottle we’ll share
and I’ll even pick up the fee.
sweet jesus she’s paying for drinks
i’ll have a jameson methinks
i’ll sit at your table
cuz im willing and able
here’s to the betties..~winks~
“I’m a bettie!” I can not yet say
but drink to them proudly I may
you’re a fuckawesome fam
so let’s all yell Hot Damn!
Everyday’s St Paddy’s Day!!
ok this is a limerick war
so please dont be sore..
as i raise my glass again
im in this to win
and i’ll be even more fierce than before
I think you are out on a limb
the outlook for you seems quite grim
unless winning to you
means being number 2
cause your chances at one are real slim!
I teach by example and yet…
Ever worse do your limericks get
With meter and rhyme
They can work every time
Anapestic: it’s easy…. don’t fret!
My response, Faely, may be belated.
But I am NOT AT ALL elated
I truly despise
Those who plagiarize.
So quit it, or be eliminated.
(do NOT steal someone else’s work.)
Seriously. If I find you didn’t write the limerick not only will you be disqualified, but you may be booted from the Betties. Not only is it cheating on your side, it is extremely offensive to me as a writer.
I assure you I write my own stuff
on this point I will call no bluff
your point is so true
I bow down to you
it’s obvious you take no guff!
I ask you to all be nice
Or I may not do this twice
Altho not a sin
I’m a limerick virgin
Just on here rollin’ the dice
A bit nervous to play?
This may not go your way.
We go for the throat
Don’t let it get your goat
Just jump right into the fray.
clearly not a limerick..but are we using the same rule as before? where if someone doesn’t want to be attacked..they can direct the attack to someone else? Just for the ones who may not want to take a hit..haha..
not that I want to opt out of bein attacked..this is far too fun for that.
Crash your escapades abound
concussions follow you around
they have found you time after time
perhaps that’s why you cannot rhyme?
your words are just a wasted mound.
now I have said all I can say
I bid ado to another day
for I’m off to work tomorrow you see
but you don’t have to morn for me
fear not for I’ll be back to play!
Drop the “i” and you become a Jinx
Suits you well cause your limerick stinks
I hope you come back to play
with something better to say
I’ll give you sometime to rethink.
*Quick reply to Crash* Yes, you can post and if you don’t want to be “attacked” you can always add “Attack Ali”. I don’t mind.
Or Attack Feanix as well
Caitlin I always love all the chocoate you bring
When i see you, it makes my heart sing
So to you, I raise my cup
and give you two thumbs up
Even if you’re the reason we can’t have nice things
or attack me..i don’t care either haha
I’m back for round 2 as you see
now the minions all bow down to me
as you drop away fast
from the first to the last
til he winner’s declared to be me!
That limerick won’t win
it should go in the bin
You’re not Charlie Sheen
prolly far too clean
I think you should try again
Charlie Sheen has got nothing on me
my fists move so fast you can’t see
you better duck
you’re about out of luck
like Muhammad I sting like a bee!
Wow comparing yourself to Charlie Sheen, that loon
Way to aim high and reach for the moon
Ali had moves back in the day
Now his head just bobs and sways
So step back cause I think you spoke to soon
Oh Mandy, Whatever!
Your rhymes aren’t that clever.
Yeah that’s what I said.
I’ll put you to bed.
Think you can best me, Never!
Oh CharChar that was so boring
Your rhymes leave me snoring
See I may be narcoleptic
But your limericks are septic
And it’s you, they’ll be ignoring
If there is a prize you won’t own it
you’ll never win writing that sh*t
so bow out with grace
before you lose face
you’re no competition for my wit
You say my rhymes skills need to be honed
Meanwhile yours have got me hugging a throne
See these words that I spit
Really are the shit
I’m just going easy and throwing you a bone
skill is not the word I would use
maybe you’ve had too much booze?
you really are lacking
not the time to be slacking
perhaps you have misplaced your muse